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valerie: 21, student, fangirl, feminist, most likely pantless. i enjoy long walks to the fridge, incoherenting at people until they moan "shut up shut up you horrible woman where is the off button stop", and winchesters. this is what i'm doing with my college education. you're welcome, mom!

"I’d work in a flower shop and be insecure. And he’d work in real estate…and there’s always cupcake batter on my face, and I’m like, ‘I just made these cupcakes, but I don’t know how I feel!’ And he’s like, ‘Let me get that cupcake batter off your face… with my dick. Cut to me giving him a hand job. Sorry, I’ve had too much caffeine."

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Aubrey Plaza’s pitch for a romcom starring herself and Ryan Gosling (Vulture) (normanosborn: coenbrosbeforehos)

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